by Linda Rex
Have you ever had one of those occasions when your mouth gets the best of you even though you are trying real hard to bite your tongue? I had one of those the other day.
A very nice lady called me up to talk to me about a form I had filled out. She had some valid questions and comments to make. And I tried to listen and answer her in the best way that I could. But as we talked, I understood less and less what she was talking about and became more and more confused and frustrated, even though I was trying very hard to understand and respond appropriately.
Eventually I found myself talking out of my frustration instead of out of the love of Christ. I realize now that I was so busy being upset about what she was saying and that I might have made a mistake that I really didn’t hear what she was saying. If I had just heard her out and took a few minutes to think, I would not have responded as I did. The phone conversation would have taken half as long. And she would not have had to put up with my inconsiderate speech.
As we closed the call, I apologized to her for my poor phone manners. I was truly sorry I had been such a sore heel about such a simple matter. She was very gracious, considering the fact that I was guilty of “shooting the messenger.” I’m grateful that she was patient and willing to forgive.
So often we can find ourselves in the place where we are so busy defending ourselves from a supposed wrong that we don’t realize that the other person isn’t there to criticize but to help. We can become guilty of attacking the very person who is there to help us out and is trying to do us a favor.
I believe this happens when we lose sight of the reality that at the cross we all stand at the same place. We are all made worthy of the same love of God in Christ. We need to see each person we meet as a “messenger” of God in that he or she is also made in God’s image for his glory. We are all sinners, every one, cleansed and perfected by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and brought into the love and life of Father, Son, and Spirit.
In the light of that truth about ourselves and others, we can face up to our failures with humility and grace. And because we are deeply aware of our need for God’s grace and love and are living and walking in the Spirit, we can be gracious and loving to others, even when we are feeling frustrated or confused. And when we fall short, as I did the day I “shot the messenger”, we can receive the same grace we offer to others when they too fail to act and speak in love. This is the way in which God meant for us to live and walk in love, in the light of Jesus, the Word of Life. This is what makes us family.
Holy Father, thank you for always being gracious with us when we do not guard our tongues or our attitudes and behaviors as we ought. Too often we are governed by our tongues rather than bringing them under submission to your will and your love. Lord, please fill our hearts and minds with your love and life. Let us daily live and speak in love as we dwell in heavenly places with you in Christ Jesus. May your love, as Father, Son, and Spirit, dwell in our hearts by faith and continue to transform us in such a way that our speech and conduct always reflect your glory. In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” –Proverbs 15:1