relational
Brought Together
By Linda Rex
July 21, 2024, Proper 11 | After Pentecost—I believe one of the most painful and difficult things a person can experience in their life is estrangement from other members of their family. Perhaps the reason this pain is so acute is because we were not created for estrangement, but for unity and oneness. At times, each one of us experiences this sense of separation or alienation from those who are meant to be close to us. Have you ever considered that this is the way God feels towards us when we push him away and refuse his offer of reconciliation and restoration?
In our New Testament reading for this Sunday, Ephesians 2:13-22, the apostle Paul talks about this very thing. Our Triune God created human beings to live in face-to-face relationship with himself and others. So often, our decision as humans is to live life in our own way, on our own terms, and under our own power. Even though we only exist because of God’s gracious creation and provision, and constant sustaining of our existence, we often choose to live as self-sustaining deities who set our own agenda and seek our own pleasure. But God created us for so much more than this. We were created to share in God’s love and life, to participate in all God is doing in this cosmos. We were created for close face-to-face relationship with God and one another. And this is why Jesus came—to ensure that nothing came in the way of us sharing in God’s life and love.
In Ephesians, the apostle Paul addresses the ongoing conflict between believers who were born as Jews, the ‘Circumcised’, and those who were born as non-Jews, ‘the Uncircumcised.’ The non-Jews had been excluded from fellowship within the people of God, and the apostle Paul was trying to help the church in Ephesia to see that all previous barriers between Jews and non-Jews had been eliminated in Jesus Christ. The rituals and traditions which held them apart had been fulfilled in Jesus and removed in his death on the cross. As God in human flesh, Jesus took the place of both Jew and non-Jew, offering himself in our place on our behalf.
Having assumed in his own human flesh all of our humanness, the Son of God, Jesus Christ, broke down all the artificial divisions we tend to place between one another—race, ethnicity, class, status, wealth, and so on. Jesus took all the distinctions we like to make to separate ourselves from one another, including our definitions of sin and evil, and in his human flesh, took them to the cross and crucified them. As God in human flesh, Jesus Christ brought each and every human into right relationship with his Father in the Spirit, creating the peace between God and man, and between humans, we so desperately need.
When we find ourselves at odds with those we are meant to be in close relationship with, we tend to focus on our differences and distinctions, and on the hurts we may have received from that person. We tend to take a very human-centered approach to our relational differences. Instead, Paul calls us to turn away from ourselves and our differences and to turn to our Lord Jesus Christ, the one who holds within himself our uniqueness, our distinctiveness, and our forgiveness. Jesus Christ has made himself the central meeting point between every person, no matter who they might be.
By the Spirit, we discover that Christ is real and present in and with each person, even though that person may not realize or believe in Jesus or what he has done on their behalf. Jesus is present by the Spirit, though hidden underneath layers of human frailty and sin. We must look beyond the surface to see Jesus is present. This is why Jesus can say to us, ‘love your enemies’ or ‘do good to those who abuse you.’ It’s not because he ignores sin and evil, but that he has triumphed over them in the cross and is working his life out in us by his heavenly Spirit. We are all brought together in Jesus, in his flesh, crucified on the cross, and brought up again in new life. Every human being has died in Christ and has risen in Christ—this is our union and communion with God and with one another. This is why we turn away from ourselves and put our faith in him and in his finished work, and allow him to live his life in and through us by his Holy Spirit.
In the midst of our divisions and disunity, Jesus calls us to himself, asking us to turn away from ourselves, our will, our ways, and to turn to him—the one who bought us relational peace in his own person. This is repentance. He calls us to trust in him and not in our own efforts. This is faith. He gives us his Spirit to bind us together with himself and with one another in unity. He gives us new life—life in the Spirit, rather than in our flesh.
When our relationships are hard and we can’t seem to find unity, this is when we are reminded to turn away from ourselves to Jesus Christ. When we place our faith in him and not in our human efforts, we will discover ourselves bound together with unbreakable cords of love which have their source in the Holy Spirit and not in ourselves. As we respond to the Spirit’s work in our hearts and lives, we will find ourselves swept up into the inner fellowship of our Father and his Son, Jesus, in the Spirit. And that is where we belong, and always will remain, as God’s dear children.
Dear Father, Jesus, Spirit, thank you for loving us so much that you never want anything to come between us and yourself. Thank you for your faithfulness and kindness to us, even when we are so undeserving. Please grant us the grace to turn to you and away from ourselves, to put our faith solely in you, and to warmly embrace your indwelling presence by your Spirit, through Jesus, our Lord. Amen.
“Therefore remember that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh, who are called ‘Uncircumcision’ by the so-called ‘Circumcision,’ which is performed in the flesh by human hands—remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who made both groups into one and broke down the barrier of the dividing wall, by abolishing in His flesh the enmity, which is the Law of commandments contained in ordinances, so that in Himself He might make the two into done new man, thus establishing peace, and might reconcile them both in one body to God through the cross, by it having put to death the enmity. ‘and He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near;’ for through Him we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit.” Ephesians 2:11–22 NASB
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God’s Freedom to Say No
By Linda Rex
I think one of the most difficult things for us as human beings to accept is God’s freedom to tell us “no.” For those of us with boundary issues, it can be even more difficult to accept, especially when we see no human reason why he should not say “yes” to what we may be wanting from him. If God is a good God, then why doesn’t he say “yes” to our requests, especially when they are important and good requests? Why do people suffer injustice, pain, loss, and other tragedies when God could so easily protect us all from evil and suffering?
There is something so tragic about someone who is caught due to circumstances beyond their control in a situation in which they must suffer loss, pain and/or grief which is overwhelming and debilitating. The human condition is such we face these type of events in our lives whether we like it or not. We cannot escape them, even when we want to. Some of us may try to find ways to escape the pain and suffering of life through addictions and distractions. But at some point, we all have to come face to face with the reality God sometimes says “no” to all our pleas for relief and deliverance.
The past few weeks in our Wednesday night small group we have been talking about boundaries, and how healthy and unhealthy ones are formed in the early years of life. Parents play a crucial role in a child’s development of boundaries which will enable them as adults to handle interpersonal and relational issues in heathy ways.
Our modern business world is looking for people with a high EQ or EI (emotional intelligence) rather than just a high IQ or intelligence, because business leaders understand the need for workers to be able to interact in healthy ways with their boss and their peers as well as with the customers they serve. So, teaching a child and a teen to respect other people’s boundaries as well as their own is important work to be done in their lives by a loving parent.
Every parent knows, if they are honest, there are times when they have to tell their child “no” but they really don’t want to. When a parent loves a child too much to tell them “yes” and tells them the “no” they need to hear but don’t want to hear, the parent may struggle with this process. How is it possible to tell a child “no” when it seems to cause them such suffering? Wouldn’t it be better to just let them have what they want?
The obvious answer, of course, is “no,” but that certainly doesn’t make it any easier for the parent to stand their ground. But stand their ground they must. And yet, there is always room for grace. Every parent needs to learn to listen to their child and to come to know their child’s heart.
Sometimes a child says “no” for really good reasons. And sometimes a child has a really good reason to ask their parent for something. This is where the parent can offer his or her child the opportunity to experience what it is like to have their healthy boundaries respected and honored. The critical piece here is the intimate relationship between the parent and the child.
What we see in action in this whole process is something called mutual submission. This is the mutual submission we see at work in the Triune relationship between the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit. C. Baxter Kruger explains their relationship in this way:
“Jesus lives by relating to God as his Father, by seeking him and knowing him as Father and loving him with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength. His life is not really his at all, it is sonship. He never lives on his own, doing his own thing, following his own agenda. He has no self-interest. ‘Not what I will, but what you will be done (Mark 14:36); is not just the prayer in Gethsemane; it is the prayer of his whole life. …The Father is utterly riveted to his Son’s every move; he is the beloved Son. And the Son is in tune with his Father’s heart and filled with joyous passion for its pleasure. …This is a relationship of the deepest affections of the soul. There is no dead ritual, no façade or shame or hiding or reticence. The Jesus of the New Testament is so aware of God’s presence, so aware of the present God as his Father, and so confident in his relationship with him; and in turn his Father has such earnest joy in him and affection for him, that they share everything and live in utmost fellowship. The formula ‘Thou art my beloved Son’ and ‘Abba, Father,’ signals a living, personal, and active relationship of profound love and togetherness, a rich and blessed communion in which all things are shared.”
We tend to overlook the reality the Father submits to the Son in the same way the Son submits to his Abba. God, who is Judge over all, defers all judgment to his Son. Our heavenly Father, who created all things, created them through the Word in the Spirit. There is no hierarchy in the Trinity, but there is a Father-Son relationship in which there is mutual respect and submission. Jesus illustrated for us and lived out in our humanity the obedience each of us was created for—an obedience held in the midst of a loving, warm fellowship with Father, Son and Spirit as our Triune God of love.
The thing is, Jesus in his humanity, did not tell the Father “no” even when he was faced with the horrors of the crucifixion. He did ask the Father, but he did so in submission to the love and wisdom of his Abba, allowing him to say “no” to what he in his humanity desired. Jesus was invited by the Father to participate in humanity’s rescue from sin and death, and Jesus was free to say “no” to his Father. But his relationship with his Abba was such, he would not say “no”—his free choice was to join us in our humanity and to do for us what we could not do for ourselves, even though it cost him suffering and death.
One of the most difficult things for a loving parent to do is to watch their child suffer. Abba did not turn from his Son when he went through this suffering, but was “in Christ” when he suffered (2 Cor. 5:19). This event of Holy Week from beginning to end was a shared experience with the Father and his Son in the Spirit. There was no separation at all.
So, God’s “no” is never something which disassociates him from us. When we must live in the midst of whatever “no” we may think God has given us, God is present, going through it with us. When evil seems to be holding sway, understand the God who makes things right will indeed do so when the time is right. He sees what we cannot see, and understands the full ramifications of what is going on, and knows the end from the beginning. There is nothing too hard for him to set right. In Christ, in his life, death, resurrection and ascension, and in his gift of the Spirit, we have this assurance.
It boils down to this: Will we trust him? Will we allow God the freedom to do as he wills in our lives, believing he will make all things right in the end, and has our best interests at heart? Will we respect God’s freedom to do what he will in our situation, trusting he is a good God, a loving and faithful God, who will never leave us or forsake us?
Abba, thank you for your patient and faithful love. Grant us in Jesus and by your Spirit, the will and power to believe you are who you really are—good, loving, and gracious. Hold us in the midst of our suffering, pain, and struggles, and enable us to experience a deepening in our relationship with you. Let us know you are near, through Jesus our Lord, and in your Spirit. Amen.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; …” 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 NASB
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