taking risks

Abandoning the God Who Uses

Posted on

by Linda Rex

Occasionally I will be talking with someone and they will use the expression, “I just want God to use me.” Over the years, this expression has really started to bother me. A while back I remember responding to someone who said they would like the church to feel free to use them by saying, “I don’t want to use you, but I would be happy to include you.” This, I believe, would be God’s response to us.

Lately, that expression, “I want God to use me” has begun to pop up over and over. In fact, at our weekly discussion group this topic came up. We’d been talking about having healthy boundaries with one another and how people with boundary issues either use other people, or allow themselves to constantly be used.

And I had a conversation this week with my daughter about this very thing. She and I had concluded, why would anyone want to have a relationship with a God who uses them? Why in the world would anyone want to give their heart and life to someone who would only use them? Yet we use this type of language about God and his church.

The reason this bothers me so much, I believe, is God is not a God who uses people. He may work with people or through people, but he does not “use” people like someone would use a tool or instrument—as a lifeless object or thing, rather than a living, breathing being with its own personhood and value. God is so protective of our personhood and our being. He has not created robots—he has created beings with their own will and with the freedom to make independent decisions.

Now, granted, God has a way of working through people to accomplish his will. It is arrogant of us as humans to think we live apart from God’s constant intervention in and direction of our cosmos and our personal lives. But he does it in such a way he values us as creatures, not using us merely as lifeless tools.

Yes, the pharoah in Moses’ day was a “vessel for wrath”, but not because God used him so much as God worked with his human proclivity to rebel, control, and destroy. Just as the pharoah was free to make his own choices, so God is free to do with us as he pleases—but what God does with us is always rooted in his love and grace, and in his desire to have all humanity share in his life, his purposes and his plans. (Romans 9:17–18)

God has been working out a plan in our world since before time began. But the accomplishment of that plan required at one point that Jesus be crucified. Isn’t it interesting Jesus included Judas Iscariot in his calling the disciples into relationship with himself? Why would Jesus include someone whom he knew would betray him? He did not use Judas Iscariot, but he certainly included him in his plan, and allowed him to play a critical and necessary, though negative part.

I am reminded of Jesus’ conversation with his disciples where he told them, “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.” (John 15:15 NLT) There is a difference between a slave whom you order around and use, and a friend whom you confide in and share your desires, hopes and dreams with. God chooses to share his heart and his life with us—we see this in the gift of his Son and his Spirit. And he does this even at risk of us rejecting him, betraying him, and hating him.

God invites us into deeper relationship with him all the time. He draws us up into his life through the gift of his Son Jesus and by the gift of his Spirit. He says to us, “Come see what I am doing—you can be a part of it. This is my kingdom life. Let’s live in it together in love, joy and peace.”

For someone who has spent much of their childhood, or even their adult life, being used and abused by other people, especially those who should have cared for and protected them, this invitation to relationship is refreshing, though scary. Being used they understand—that is a simple concept. But being called into relationship? That is a whole other concept.

Being called into relationship means not only owning our own stuff and being responsible for what is ours, but also refusing to own what belongs to another and allowing them to carry their own load. Being called into relationship means taking risks and allowing someone else the power to do something we would not choose to do. It means getting out of our heads and into our hearts—being willing to be rejected, abandoned and hurt for the sake of truly loving and serving another person. But this is what God did in Christ, and what he does for us all the time.

I’ve been reading Wm. Paul Young’s latest book, Lies We Believe About God and just this morning started to read Chapter 6—“God Wants to Use Me”. He writes this:

“…for people who come from sexual-abuse history, the last thing in the world we want is to be “used” by anyone, even by God!

  God is a relational being: that is who God is. The language of God is about partnering, cocreating, and participating; it’s about an invitation to dance and play and work and grow.”

If we pay attention, we recognize the difference in our interactions with others between being used and being loved. One is healthy—the other is extremely unhealthy.

As Wm. Paul Young goes on to say, healthy, loving parents would never apply this type of language in conversation about their own children. I could never imagine saying to my daughter, “Just let me use you in this.” It’s just not a sound-minded way of interacting with another human being. So why do we think God interacts with us in this way?

Maybe this is just a matter of semantics. But I really do believe for some of us, it is a reflection of what we in our heart of hearts believe about God, and it needs to be changed. May God open our eyes and hearts to see and know him as the God he really is—the relational God of love— who through Jesus our Lord and by his Spirit invites us into an everlasting relationship of grace and love.

Abba, forgive us for projecting onto you our unhealthy ways of thinking, believing and acting. You are not the Person we so often make you out to be. Transform our hearts by faith. Heal our minds and our thoughts. Bring us into the truth you have manifested to us in your Son Jesus. Fill us, Holy Spirit, with a clear vision and deep understanding of the real relationship of grace and love we are included in through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.” John 15:12–16 NASB

Torn Between the Two

Posted on

Stream Scene from trip to AR, taken by Linda Rex
Stream Scene from trip to AR, taken by Linda Rex

by Linda Rex

I had a dream last night. And no, it wasn’t anything like Martin Luther King’s great inspirational vision. It was just an ordinary dream in which I was standing on a hill next to a building. Below me to the left was another building and a group of people who I was helping and was in some way responsible for.

As I was standing there interacting with the people down the hill, I realized the weather had suddenly changed and there was a storm approaching. For whatever reason—it’s hard to know how or why—after all, it is a dream—I rose on tip-toe to look over the house next to me. That’s when I saw just over a small river next to the house, there was a tornado headed our way.

At that moment I realized I needed to make a decision. I felt it was important to go back into the house and grab my bag, with the computer and my personal ID, and to run down the hill to join the others. And yet, I also felt it was equally important to get everyone to safety. I knew they could do it themselves, but I felt it was essential I help. There I stood, torn between the two urgent things which needed done in those final moments before we were overtaken by the funnel cloud.

Of course, I woke up right at this place, so now I have no idea what I would have decided had I kept on dreaming. But it got me to thinking about the way we are faced with difficult decisions in which we are inwardly torn about which direction to go, and how we find ourselves struggling to come to some clarity about them.

The two options may each be important things to do, but with different priorities or different outcomes. They may affect our relationships, our career, or our reputation. Usually they are things which need to be done immediately or in the near future, but may have a lasting impact which will affect us and everyone else in our lives for some time to come. We want desperately to do the right thing and to make a decision which will be wise and discerning, but we find ourselves of two minds.

So we struggle. We may pray and ask God’s direction. We may seek counsel and draw from other people’s wisdom. We may research and investigate and consider. These are all excellent and necessary things to do. But at some point, at this critical juncture—we need to make a decision, from which there is no turning back.

When the rubber meets the road—in other words, when things come to the place where a decision absolutely needs to be made—then what?

It’s easy to get caught up in the process and to focus on the ramifications of each decision. But I believe too often we miss out on the real purpose for such situations in our lives. Such situations provide ample opportunity for us to grow in our relationship with God and to become more intimately connected with and to grow in trust with Abba, Jesus and the Spirit.

I am grateful God leads us and guides us in our decisions, and by his Spirit he prompts us, encourages us, and even closes doors in our lives so we can see more clearly which direction to go. But I don’t always see God making decisions for us. Often he puts us in a place where we need to turn to him and to walk with him in faith through the decision-making process.

One of the things I have struggled with in the past is the fear of making a wrong decision, thereby creating complete havoc and destruction in my life and the lives of my loved ones. I was so afraid of making the wrong decision I found myself immobilized by this fear, and unable to—or unwilling to—make any decision at all, at least not with any confidence.

Such fear grew out of broken relationships in which my decisions were questioned, ridiculed and diminished. So then, it is hard to confidently make decisions when you are constantly second-guessing yourself. And this is made much worse when you believe God expects you to get it right on the first try. This is a lose-lose position in which to find oneself, believe me!

It has taken me many years to come to the place where I can allow myself permission to take the risk of making a mistake in my decision-making process. This has come about, not because I’m better at taking risks or making decisions, but rather because I have grown in my understanding of who God is, and how he views the decision-making process in his adopted children.

The face of the God watching me make decisions is no longer the stern, critical parent, and is now the compassionate, understanding parent who wants to see me step out and try new things and to grow into all he meant for me to be. And he realizes and accepts I cannot do that apart from taking risks and making mistakes along the way.

And he also knows we’re going to face storms and difficult life events, and to have to make painful, hard decisions as we go. He’s got us in his grip of grace and will not let us go as we make these decisions, even though in the heat of the moment, we may make some bad choices. The Creator Who made and sustains all things is also our Redeemer, Who is working to make all things new. There is nothing he cannot turn to good in the end.

It is important to walk the path of the decision-making process with our hand in the hand of Jesus, swept along by the Spirit’s impetus, in the presence of our Abba, who delights in watching us grow up in Christ. As we pray, do our research, seek good counsel, and walk in faith, we do it all in the context of spiritual community—in relationship with God and one another. And we grow in our knowledge of God, others and even ourselves in the process—and isn’t that what Jesus said eternal life was all about?

Abba, thank you that through Jesus and by your Spirit, we are not alone in our decision-making process. Indeed, by your Son and your Spirit, you have placed us in community and empowered us with wisdom, and given us the assurance of your presence, your love and acceptance, no matter how our decisions turn out. It is such a blessing to know and be able to trust that in your Son who made all the right decisions in our place, we have all we need to be good decision-makers. In your Name, we praise and thank you for this precious gift. Amen.

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” John 17:3 NASB