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Growing Up With Jesus

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By Linda Rex

December 29, 2024, 1st Sunday in Christmas | Holy Family—On this first day in the twelve days of Christmas, we pause to consider Jesus’ human family. Often, during Christmas, we focus on the incarnation of Jesus Christ—the coming of the Son of God to take on human flesh. But Christmas begins with Christmas Eve and lasts twelve days. And on this Sunday, we consider Jesus’ incarnational life here on earth, and what it means for us that Jesus took on our human flesh, living a genuine human life here on earth before he died, rose again, and ascended into glory.

Our Old Testament passage for this Sunday is 1 Samuel 2:18–20, 26. The back story for this passage is that after the ancient nation of Israel had finally had crossed over the Jordan River into the Promised Land, and had settled there, they fell back into idolatry and immorality, and other sins, thereby violating their covenant agreement with their God. God would allow a nation to take them captive and eventually the Israelites would turn back to God, repenting of their sinful ways. God would send a deliverer, a judge, to rescue them. They would follow God as long as the judge led them, but eventually the judge would die, and they would go back to doing what was in violation of their covenant with God. And they would again end up enslaved.

As this reached its climax, the priest at the time, Eli, had two sons who served at the tabernacle as priests. They stole the sacrificial offerings and slept with the women who served at the tabernacle—both acts were a grave offense to God. The Lord warned Eli that he needed to deal with his sons, but he would not. In the middle of this circumstance, a man named Elkanah came to present his yearly sacrifice to the Lord. Elkanah had married two woman (a local custom God didn’t approve of), one of which he loved most, Hannah. The other woman, Peninnah, may not have had Elkanah’s favor, but she had several children, and mocked Hannah for her childlessness. This situation came to a crisis during their visit to offer sacrifice, and Hannah ran to the tabernacle to pour out her heart to the Lord. The priest Eli saw her there and thought she was drunk. But when he heard her story, he gave her God’s blessing.

When Elkanah and his family returned home, Hannah became pregnant. She offered her firstborn son, Samuel, in service to the Lord. Samuel began to serve under Eli the priest, and wore a linen ephod—even as a boy, Samual served the Lord. In contrast to Eli’s sons who were so disobedient and evil, Samuel was faithful and obedient in his service to God.

The picture here is of a youth and a young man serving in God’s tabernacle. As the firstborn son, he was devoted to God, to faithfully serve God all his life. As Samuel matured, and continued to serve the Lord faithfully, he grew “in stature and in favor both with the Lord and with men.” When we consider the circumstances around Samuel’s life of service, and how he came to be in that place, serving the Lord, we are reminded this time of year about another young man devoted to the service of the Lord—Jesus Christ.

Samuel is a good signpost to our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus was also born under divinely ordained circumstances, being born of the virgin Mary, conceived of the Holy Spirit. As a young man, we see Jesus in the temple, talking with the elders of the nation, asking questions, and giving profound answers which shocked them. When his parents missed him and finally found him in the temple, Jesus asked them, “Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?” Even at age twelve, the age of accountability, Jesus was actively serving in his Father’s house, and growing in his relationship with his heavenly Father. He returned and submitted himself to his parents’ authority until he was older, and like Samuel, he “kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:41–52). Even as a youth and young man, Jesus took seriously his relationship with his heavenly Father, and began to seek his face and serve him when he was young.

Both these stories provide a guiding star by which we can direct our lives as young people and as youth. We do not need to wait to grow up to begin our relationship with God. We can participate even now in Jesus’ life with his Father by the Holy Spirit. We can seek God’s face, ask great questions, and be inspired by the Spirit with great answers. We can grow in God’s wisdom, maturity, and in favor with God and those about us, as we are devoted to him, and seek to serve him. Amid a chaotic, sin-laden world, which pulls us into unhealthy ways of living and being, we can turn to Christ and determine to live a better way—the way we were designed to live—in loving relationship with God and one another, as God always intended. Jesus Christ has made this possible, so we turn to him in faith and follow where he leads us by the power of his Holy Spirit. As we live according to his Word, in faithful devotion to God and humble love and service to others, we will grow and mature as God intends. May God bless you as you grow up in Christ. Merry Christmas!

Heavenly Father, thank you for loving us even when we are young and immature, just enjoying play and learning the basics of life. Grant us the grace to grow up in Christ, to choose the better way, rather than just going along with what everyone else is doing. Grant us the courage to resist the pulls of this world, and to choose a relationship with you, and to serve you all our lives, through Jesus our Lord and by your Spirit. Amen.

“Now Samuel was ministering before the Lord, as a boy wearing a linen ephod. And his mother would make him a little robe and bring it to him from year to year when she would come up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice. Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife and say, ‘May the Lord give you children from this woman in place of the one she dedicated to the Lord.’ And they went to their own home. Now the boy Samuel was growing in stature and in favor both with the Lord and with men.”      1 Samuel 2:18–20, 26

“Now His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. And when He became twelve, they went up there according to the custom of the Feast; and as they were returning, after spending the full number of days, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But His parents were unaware of it, but supposed Him to be in the caravan, and went a day’s journey; and they began looking for Him among their relatives and acquaintances. When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem looking for Him. Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers. When they saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said to Him, ‘Son, why have You treated us this way? Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You.’ And He said to them, ‘Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?’ But they did not understand the statement which He had made to them. And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”      Luke 2:41–52 NASB

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Divine Immunity

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By Linda Rex

June 25, 2023, Proper 7 | After Pentecost—I was reading through one of my old journals today and noticing that there are several things I still am struggling with in my life and character that I wrestled with more than ten years ago. Over the years I have learned that some things that have been criticized by others as weaknesses have turned out simply to be personal quirks and ways of being that God created me with which are different than the average person. Other things are areas where the Lord is still working with me to grow me up into Christ.

In our life in Christ, we are faced with the reality that we are often far from being the image-bearers of God we were meant to be, but at the same time are warmly embraced by the Lord who loves us and forgives us, and is fully committed to bringing us into the fullness of all he has in mind for us. This journey we call the Christian faith is exactly that—a long trip in relationship with Father, Son, and Spirit in which we grow in our relationship with God and one another, and we mature spiritually, growing up in Christ and deepening in our faith.

If I were to walk into a bookstore, especially a Christian bookstore, I would find a lot of books which would tell me all the ways in which I need to grow as a follower of Christ, and a lot of methodology in how to go about doing this. While I have been helped to some extent by such books over the years, I have found the greatest maturing and healing has come in relationship—in healthy relationship with other godly men and women who invested me and my life. It was their mentoring work and their prayerful investment which often led to changes which otherwise would not have happened.

But even so, the one relationship which really mattered most is the one which I have been given with Father, Son, and Spirit. The Lord of all has taken a personal interest in me (as I’m sure he has in you), and I sometimes wonder why. The Lord has invested in me and my life in a way which can only be explained by his mercy, compassion, forbearance and longsuffering. What I have discovered over the years is that I can work hard at being a good person, but my best efforts do not bring about lasting change. Lasting change only comes when I go to Jesus in the humility of my inability, need, and failure and receive from him by the Spirit the transformation which I long for as I live and walk day by day in relationship with him.

That I even long for change at all is a gift from God. This is what Paul is talking about in Romans 6, 1b-11, the passage for this Sunday. There were some who believed that God’s grace gave them the “freedom” to do whatever they wanted in their lives, the “freedom” to sin or to live in ways contrary to their original design. This was a misunderstanding of God’s grace and mercy. For when we truly realize and embrace what Jesus has accomplished in his life, death, and resurrection, we find we have no desire to do anything other than to love God and love one another as we were created to. Anything else ultimately makes us miserable. Even though sin is still something we do (for we are still human), it no longer has the same power over us and does not control us as it did before we came to faith in Christ. Rather, as Christ lives in us by the Spirit, we find we are compelled by God’s other-centered love to love God and one another.

It is unfortunate that much of our focus in Christian circles has been on moral behavior and trying to make ourselves right with God when it should have been on simply enjoying our relationship with Father, Son, and Spirit and being who we are as his beloved, adopted children who participate with him in caring for his creation. Jesus Christ, as God in human flesh, is the one in whom we live and move and have our being. It is Christ’s own relationship with the Father in the Spirit that we share in—so it’s not up to us to get ourselves in right relationship with God—Jesus did it, is doing it, will do it. It is his life with Abba in the Spirit that is ours, in which we find faith, hope, love, and joy.

The evil one likes to keep our focus on everything we are doing wrong, on all that is going wrong in this world. The evil one keeps us frantically trying to remake ourselves into good people or to make ourselves right with God. The evil one tells us constantly that God is not good, is not love, and doesn’t give a hang about us. The world around us convinces us that these lies are the truth of our existence. This is why we must remember that when Jesus died—we all died. All of creation went through death with the creator as he was crucified and died and was placed in the tomb. The good news is that evil, sin, and death are dead. The sin in you and me died with Christ and so no longer is in a place of power in us. No, we are in a new place now—in the risen Lord.

This means that sin, self, Satan, as the apostle Paul shows us, no longer dictate to us how we are to live. Indeed, now we are free to be who God meant for us to be all along—his beloved children who love and serve him and one another. What echoes in my mind are Jesus’ words to the woman caught in the act of adultery: “Neither do I condemn you—go and sin no more.” You and I are forgiven, accepted, beloved, placed in right relationship with God in Jesus’ death and resurrection. We have been given a new life—so, we live it. Did you mess up again? I know I have and I will, but in Christ I am made new. And so are you. And I will turn to Jesus once again. And so will you. And once again, we will go and sin no more—because that is what the life of Christ in us and us in Christ is all about. And we will continue on this journey in close fellowship with Father, Son, and Spirit until we are called home to be with them forever in glory—all because of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Thank you, Lord!

Heavenly Father, thank you for making us your very own. Thank you for loving us and drawing us to yourself in Jesus by your Spirit. Lord, grant us the grace to never forget our old selves are dead, that sin no longer has power over us, and that we have been given new life, life in union and communion with you. Enable us to ever live in the truth of who we are as your cherished children, through your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

“Now what is our response to be? Shall we sin to our heart’s content and see how far we can exploit the grace of God? What a ghastly thought! We, who have died to sin—how could we live in sin a moment longer? Have you forgotten that all of us who were baptised into Jesus Christ were, by that very action, sharing in his death? We were dead and buried with him in baptism, so that just as he was raised from the dead by that splendid Revelation of the Father’s power so we too might rise to life on a new plane altogether. If we have, as it were, shared his death, let us rise and live our new lives with him! Let us never forget that our old selves died with him on the cross that the tyranny of sin over us might be broken—for a dead man can safely be said to be immune to the power of sin. And if we were dead men with him we can believe that we shall also be men newly alive with him. We can be sure that the risen Christ never dies again—death’s power to touch him is finished. He died, because of sin, once: he lives for God for ever. In the same way look upon yourselves as dead to the appeal and power of sin but alive and sensitive to the call of God through Jesus Christ our Lord.”     Romans 6:1-11 PHILLIPS

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Seeds and Flowers, and Maturing in Christ

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By Linda Rex

Outside the house next to our patio door sit two flower pots. Last summer we moved some tiger lilies out of a flowerbed and into these pots because the local mole had decided he had a hankering for flower bulbs and managed to eliminate most of them we had planted earlier in the year.

Even though we planted the tiger lily bulbs in the flowerpots, we assumed they were too far gone to even come up. But this spring they began to grow and after quite some time they put on buds. We were delighted when the bright orange blossoms opened fully—they are quite stunning when in full bloom.

In comparison with a tiger lily, the bloom of an avocado tree is quite tiny and unimpressive. If one were to look at an avocado flower, one would have to get up really close in order to even see it. It has six tiny white or green petals surrounding an intricate white and yellow center. And yet, when the flower has done its work properly, it produces a seed the size of a walnut enclosed within a thick layer which we consume as fruit. The entire avocado can be bigger than the size of a human fist—a far cry from the tiny flower it came from.

The size and beauty of a flower may be large and glorious, but this is not what determines what type of fruit it produces. Nor does it determine whether or not it produces fruit which matures in such a way as to produce seeds. Some flowers produce fruit which is seedless—a natural process which botanists and producers have taken advantage of in order to provide us with such produce as seedless grapes and seedless watermelons.

Plants come in all shapes and sizes, and so do the “fruit”—this word includes nuts, vegetables, and fruit. Fruit from a plant may mature beyond the state any of us would be willing to consume, but for many plants, this is what is necessary for the seed to fully ripen so when it is put in the ground it will produce a new plant. We often consume what is produced before it is fully mature—corn on the cob is a good example of this. In order to plant corn, the corn kernel has to ripen completely and then dry—only then is it mature enough to be used as seed for planting. But dried corn kernels are quite hard to chew and they’re not very tasty either.

A lot of what I’ve shared here is common knowledge for a farmer, botanist, or master gardener. They understand the process by which a plant reproduces and how to work with seeds, plants, and flowers to produce the best crop possible. It is interesting that Jesus, our Master Gardener, often used the process of planting, growing, and harvesting crops in order to talk about himself and the kingdom of God.

In one parable, Jesus used seed to represent the Word of God. He was explaining the different ways in which the Word of God was planted and the results of each scenario:

“Now the parable is this: the seed is the word of God. Those beside the road are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their heart, so that they will not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky soil are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no firm root; they believe for a while, and in time of temptation fall away. The seed which fell among the thorns, these are the ones who have heard, and as they go on their way they are choked with worries and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to maturity. But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.” Luke 8:11-15 NASB

It seems that the problem with producing quality fruit lies not with the seed, but with the soil it lands on. The Word of God always produces a result—it is fruitful—there’s no doubt about that. But the ground which receives the seed can be harsh and unreceptive, or provide little room for the roots to grow, or be so filled with weeds that a new plant can’t grow and thrive.

If we were to consider this parable for a bit, we might see that the point of putting the seed in the ground is not just to have pretty flowers. Flowerbeds are lovely and I personally enjoy a garden filled with colorful blooms. But this was not the point of this parable—the focus is on the seed and what the seed was to produce—more seed. This means each seed needs to produce a plant which will grow to the place it flowers, it produces fruit, and the fruit matures to the point that it produces seed.

Seeds come in all shapes and sizes, and travel all over by a variety of means. Seeds are not meant to stay on the plant, but to be spread to new places. We experience the reality of this when we find oak trees growing in our pansy bed or an apple tree coming up in the vegetable garden.

When we hear the Word of God—the good news of God’s love for us expressed to us in his Son Jesus Christ, it is meant to take root in our hearts by faith. The Word of God, the indwelling Christ by the Spirit, works transform our hearts and lives. We open ourselves up to the work of the Spirit in our walk of faith and begin to mature as followers of Jesus Christ. Our lives begin to reflect the Word of God at work within us. Like beautiful blossoms on a plant, we glow with the glory God created us to bear—the image of God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

This flowering is not the end of the story though. We are meant to go even farther and mature into seed-bearing plants. Our lives and words are to be a testimony to Christ. In other words, the life-giving Word is carried to new places and planted in new ground—new hearts—because we have become mature seed-bearing plants. Jesus said as we go, we are to make disciples. Making disciples, sharing the Word of God with others, is to be a natural by-product of our spiritual growing up in Christ.

The environment in which the Word of God exists within us is critical in this process. Do we allow ourselves to be deceived by a word other than that which given to us in Jesus Christ? Do we allow ourselves to be tempted by other things which supplant the Word of God? Do we allow ourselves to be so absorbed in the cares and pleasures of this life that we suffocate the Word of God? All of these are ways in which we disrupt or hinder the process of spiritual growth God meant for us to participate in.

The healthier alternative is to receive the Word with an “honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.” The Word of God sinks deep roots in the soil of our heart as we practice spiritual disciplines which open us up to the work of the Spirit within us. The Word of God can transform our lives and hearts as we obey the Spirit’s inner prompting to put away our idols and distractions and focus wholly on Christ. We make space for God to work by making sure we are not preoccupied with the cares and pleasures of this life.

And we are not satisfied with just the external trappings of spiritual growth. It’s easy to look as though we are a stunning example of spiritual maturity. But the proof is when what God has done and is doing in us is duplicated in the lives of those around us. When the Word of God begins spreading into the hearts and lives of those around us, then we know we are being fruitful, and that God’s Word is living and active, taking root in many new hearts and lives.

Thank you, Lord, for planting your Word in our hearts. By faith, may we allow your Word to grow and develop, transforming our hearts and lives in such a way that your Word may be planted anew in others hearts and lives as well. May we be productive plants for your glory, through Jesus our Lord and by your Holy Spirit. Amen.

“As for what fell among the thorns, these are the ones who hear; but as they go on their way, they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.” Luke 8:14 NRSV

Sight-giving Light

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By Linda Rex

It’s very interesting to me the many ways in which God works in our lives in order to get our attention and help us to learn things about ourselves we would not otherwise see. Often, we go about our daily business, dealing with life as usual, never realizing there are significant issues with the way we handle certain things. We may not want to admit it, but we each have blind spots which are obvious to others, but which we cannot see.

One of the ways God brings light into these areas of blindness is by challenging our preconceived ideas regarding certain people, places, or things. By placing us through various circumstances in situations we would not have chosen for ourselves, or situations we did choose but they turned out differently than we expected, God exposes parts of our character which we are often able to hide under the glitz of performance.

Another way God pours his light into areas we are blind to is by placing people in our lives with whom we have to interact whether we like it or not. For example, an introvert such as myself may find herself forced to sit in a big circle of seventy people and have to tell how she feels about being present at that particular event at that particular moment whether she likes it or not.

Would I normally have chosen to tell such a personal feeling to that many people who are strangers to me? No. But the requirements of my situation have forced my hand—I will do it whether I want to or not. And I have to own that I would prefer to gloss over the way I really feel rather than expose myself to all those people and admit I’d just rather not be present in that situation. I’d rather be hiding somewhere else where I can just be me, away from the inspecting, critical examination of myself by people I don’t know and don’t believe are safe.

So, in just a few brief moments, I have gained insight into my own heart and mind, and into how I react in difficult and uncomfortable situations. I have learned something about my own character and my propensity to fudge the truth rather than to make other people feel bad or myself look bad. If I pay attention, then I will make note of this response and determine when faced with this situation again, I will act with boldness and integrity, and speak the truth in love.

If, however, I’m not paying attention when this happens, but ignore what is going on inside my head and my heart, I will react to the situation in a way which isn’t necessarily healthy or loving or honest. I might spend much of my life in this way, reacting to similar situations, and not realizing what is really going on. Blinded to this truth about my character, my behavior, and my responses to certain stimuli, I might go on oblivious, depriving myself and others of the opportunity to live in and experience God’s best.

But what if I took a different approach? What if I stopped in the midst of what is occurring and paused long enough to see things as they really are? What if I took the time to feel what is going on in my heart and to pay attention to what is going on in my mind, before reacting to the situation?

One of the things they told me in Christian counseling classes about bad habits is the need to place some significant distance between the stimulus or trigger and the behavior it leads into. The larger this gap is, the more distance there is between what triggers our response and the response itself, the more opportunity there is for the Holy Spirit to get in there and go to work.

I was listening to a young lady today, Kayleigh Vogel with Explore What Matters, talk about this very thing. The more they study the human brain and the psychological/physiological responses to stress stimuli, the more they realize there needs to be a proactive effort to create this distance and to enter into it in such a way we choose our response rather than just doing what comes naturally. She was saying the current studies in the neuroplasticity of the brain show over time our response can be changed as new pathways in the brain are formed and reinforced.

But there must be some effort to pay attention to what is going on inside of us. What drives our decisions? What drives our responses? Is it a gut-reaction, or is it a true expression of what we really value and believe is most important? This is worth reflecting on.

One of the things we do as we get to our adult years is to choose a career or find a job. More people are being intentional about what they choose to do for a living, while others grab what is available, just being thankful they have a job. But at some point, it would do each of us some good to consider this question: Does this job or career bring me joy? Does it really resonate with something deep inside me, with my values and what I care about most?

This is true also about what we do in our daily life, or how we respond to the stress we experience day by day. We all have choices we face. They teach us things, and we grow as we make those choices. We should not be afraid of them, but realize—these are opportunities to learn about ourselves and other people, and about this wonderful world we live in—opportunities to grow as human beings and open ourselves up to the refining, transforming work of the Holy Spirit.

As we make choices and other people make choices, and we experience the reality of life in an imperfect world, we can embrace all this as a wonderful opportunity to learn things about ourselves we would not know otherwise. And we can embrace it all as an opportunity for God to mature and refine us, and to transform us more perfectly into the nature of Jesus Christ.

And we can thank God we have new opportunities to see the blind areas of our character and lives as God’s light shines in those dark places, and opens them up to the redeeming power of God’s grace through Jesus our Lord by his Holy Spirit.

Abba, thank you for all the ways you bring us to see things about ourselves and our hearts we would not otherwise see, were it not for your love and grace. Thank you that by your Spirit, you continually shine your light in all our areas of blindness and bring us into a deeper understanding of who God are and who we are in you, through Jesus our Lord. Amen.

“The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend [or overpower] it.” John 1:5 NASB

Freedom and the Power of Influence: It’s All of Grace

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by Linda Rex

I was sitting by the pool one day chatting with a colleague about kids and life when the conversation drifted, as it often does in such cases, into the topic of childrearing. I often feel like I have an unpopular view on this topic since I prefer to approach childrearing through the portal of grace. Because when grace comes into play, things can get really messy, and most people are uncomfortable with the chaos that comes with the mess.

Personally I think we tend to forget that our human condition is, at its base, pretty messy. Humanity, with its laws and governments and programs and institutions, is constantly trying to cope with and fight the chaos that comes with our proclivity to sin, corruption and selfishness. Allowing people the freedom to do whatever they wish whenever they wish however they wish creates anarchy and ultimately, self-destruction. Or does it?

Often parents and adults alike can be more concerned with having order and control than they are with allowing children to be free to be creative and to learn by failing. It’s embarrassing when a child is less than perfect in public, especially when the expectations are high and we want to impress everyone with the glory and goodness of our children and our family. When our child starts screaming in the supermarket and everyone turns to look, the question we can ask at that moment is: Am I embarrassed for myself and worried about everyone’s opinions, or am I concerned about the well-being of my child? For our response at that moment is crucial.

When children are first born, we invest ourselves in them, I hope, by pouring into them love, affection, and attention. We have our own ways of dealing with their need for diaper changes, bedtime stories, and play time. We have a profound influence on their personality, attitudes and approach to life and to freedom, for this is the time we begin to set appropriate boundaries for them. And we begin to give them the freedom they need to learn and to be creative within those boundaries.

If we never give our little children boundaries such as a bedtime or respect for elders, then they can begin to assume that they are free to be the lord of their little universe—a false belief that isn’t healthy. That’s because there is only one Lord of the universe, and he doesn’t share that title with anyone. He is the only Being who is truly free, and even his freedom is freely expressed within the boundaries of his perfect love, a love that is one and the same as his Being. All of us as human beings need to understand that our freedom only exists within the confines of God’s freedom, and our freedom is always and ever meant to be lived out within the confines of God’s love and lordship.

Then there also comes a time when a child outgrows his or her boundaries and begins to chafe at the limits. At this point a parent can begin to tighten their control and suffocate their child by restricting them even more, or they can begin to free their child from restrictions so they can develop greater maturity and self-control. Whether or not a parent can easily do this often depends on their ability to influence their children, which is often determined by the depth and quality of the relationship they’ve built with them over the years. And it depends on the parents’ ability to cope with chaos and mess. And how they handle that has a lot to do with how well they understand and have themselves experienced grace.

Grace is essential to any human development because it provides the freedom to mess up and to be less than perfect. A child falls a lot before he ever comes to understand how to walk. A child has many messy faces and bibs before she learns to get the spoon of food into her mouth without spreading it all over herself and everything else first. This is all a part of our existence as human beings. We all go through the process of growing up and experience the mess that goes with it.

But when a child is free to mess up, that means that they can also be embarrassing to parents, or irritating, or even infuriating. They can create havoc in relationships by telling the wrong story at the wrong time. They can isolate us from neighbors by climbing fences to steal apples off of trees. At what point do we draw the line? And that’s where I have to say—it depends on who is the parent and who is the child. Each person and family is unique. That’s the way God made us. And we each, in relationship with God and with each other, grow up in Christ to the full maturity of Christ in our own way. There is no specific formula, ritual or program that works best in every situation.

Because just as kids grow up by messing up, learning from their messes, and developing maturity over time, the same is true of each of us as adults. Some of us are still trying to learn the basics we were never taught by our parents about the simple boundaries of love and respect. Others of us are learning that the apples on the other side of the fence aren’t really worth the trouble of stealing. And others of us are still tripping over our feet and falling, because we haven’t learned how to walk by faith rather than by sight. It’s all of grace.

I’m personally thankful that God is not a strict, controlling parent who is unforgiving of our faults and failures. He does what he can through our human institutions and governments to try to give us boundaries when we need them (and often we don’t need the boundaries we tend to create). But he gives us great freedom as well. I’m grateful he gives us room to grow, and even allows us to spit in his face on occasion without slapping us down. And most of all, he gives us Jesus, to share our humanity and to, by the Spirit, live his life within us and to transform us into his nature and way of being. He offers us Christ’s perfected humanity in our place. And that’s true grace and love.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for being the perfect parent, and for parenting us with such grace and love. Thank you for nurturing us and mothering us as we grow up in Christ. May we each be as gracious with one another and with our children as you are with us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

“Start with God—the first step in learning is bowing down to God; only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning. Pay close attention, friend, to what your father tells you; never forget what you learned at your mother’s knee. Wear their counsel like flowers in your hair, like rings on your fingers.” Proverbs 1:7–9 MSG